Finding Courage and Wisdom in Darkness (Part 2)
04/14/2015

What is Wisdom:

Knowledge that is gained by having many experiences in life.

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1). So many people go through experiences and never learn from it. The number one reason to pay attention during difficult times is so we can learn , and not repeat the same mistakes in the future. Otherwise we end up in a cycle of doing the same thing over and over.

2). I learned that people don’t necessarily hurt you because of things you may, or may not have done. Majority of the time it’s because of personal short comings. And in most cases it turns into projection. Therefore understanding ourselves emotionally is imperative to our growth, and  rationalizing ability.

3). Remember yourself worth when you’re going through hard times. Never get down on your self and blame your self harshly. You are still enough and always will be. It is very easy to have negative self talk in our heads when going through something tough or challenging. We think, “well maybe if I had done it this way, then I wouldn’t be here”. And while we perhaps could have made better decisions in some cases, we also have to remember that if we genuinely did our best with what we were given, then that’s all that matters. The next step now is to look forward. Move your focus from what was, and move on to what will be. Remember that the more focus you place on something, is the more it manifests. So place your focus on the positive. Dwelling on what has happened is not going to magically change what will be.

 

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4). You will come to realize that you may be a threat to those around you who are weak. And it’s not because of something that you’re doing wrong. But if you are someone who has it together, or even if you don’t have it all together but you still put on a brave face, you can become a threat to the weak people around you. The unfortunate thing about that is they will try to hurt you, from jealousy. And If we’re not fully aware of who we are, we start believing that we are actually doing something wrong. But if our heart and intentions are pure, you should never change your standards to make those who are not as strong feel validated. And while it may be hard, such people have to be omitted from our life, because they become toxic. They’re manipulative and some times they become malicious.

5). Hurt People Hurt People. So many people are not mentally or emotionally strong. Or they have gone through some sort of trauma which they never completely healed from. That person could be me, it could be you. The trauma may have been big or small depending on the person’s capacity to deal with stress. I believe that people not taking the time to heal from a trauma is the number one cause of people hurting each other. When we get hurt, whether it be by a family member, friend, or lover, we process that hurt and apply it to other parts of our lives unconsciously. In some cases we don’t even give people a chance to actually make a difference in our lives because of what we went through in our past. Our walls, and guards stay up. And it’s not to say you shouldn’t protect yourself. But doing so in a paranoid way is unhealthy and it may push people away. And it’s not because you’re a bad person, but you may be mishandling those feelings which you never healed from.

6). We are able to get over traumas faster mentally than we are emotionally . So we say in our heads,”yes, I’m over this, and I’m over that, and it doesn’t affect me anymore”.  But then suddenly we’re in a situation, and something happens to trigger a certain feeling, and we react to it in a way that’s unfamiliar to us. That’s emotional trauma rearing it’s head. This is why it is imperative to take time for your self after going through something emotionally traumatic. You have to face those feelings head on, otherwise you may actually end up hurting someone who you love or care about unintentionally. Or even hurting yourself.